ScoutyLove

It must have been the temperature, the oppressive waves layering onto their overheated bodies and brains like the prickly winter blankets I took to our boarding school to combat the cool nights of the Nilgiri Hills in South India. I would lie as motionless as I could, hoping I wouldn't get jabbed by the vicious fibres; wondering if I was actually cold or just needed a hug and Mum to bring me my morning cup of tea in my green plastic mug in my own bed; wondering how long before morning broke the chill of the moon. 

Every day Musket, Phoebe Snow, Earl Grey, Carly Simon and Gunpowder have been lying motionless in the porch or under the green leafy Virginia creeper, panting slightly, hoping to avoid the spiky fingers of heat that find them no matter where they hide; stirring only for the occasional mouthful of water; wondering how long before evening breaks the grip of the sun.

Not Scout, though: Scout is a dog who was created for this often merciless life; whose greatest joy is charging out in the wake of The Good Rancher and his horse, tail wagging so vigorously that Jack-the-Cat-who-wishes-he-were-a-dog would go flying if he were following his idol too closely.

Scout is the late-arriving baby in this blended dog-family. In human terms, Musket is approaching 60, Phoebe and Grey are 53, Carly and Gunny are 40; and Scouty is an annoying 17 — energetic, friendly, loving, always wanting to be busy. Green balls, orange balls, and balls that light up when you throw them litter the inside of the house. Outside there are sticks of all sizes tucked away in strategic locations so that a quick game of Throw can break out no matter what part of the garden a person and her dog find themselves.

Scout was a country boy in a city; I was a city girl in the country. It was an improbable match made in heaven. It was love at first sight for me; for him, he had to mourn the loss of his city family and to establish trust with us, which took a couple of long days after he came to live with us. 

He declared that I was HIS, however, a few days later, during which time he had been fully instructed as to his status in the canine pecking order. 

That early morning he was cowering behind my bed as I dozed fitfully. Carly decided to jump on the bed, to let me know she wanted to go outside and it had to be with me.

Suddenly there was a flurry of black and white dog fur and Scouty launched himself onto my head, staking his claim. It was a brave, rash, foolhardy thing to have done. I lay there praying for no dog bites, for no blood to be spilled.

Fortunately — particularly for me — Carly saw the writing on the wall and backed off. From then on, with very few exceptions, Scout was accepted as part of the canine detachment, a promotion he never took for granted and a position he never took advantage of.

He was in his element, though, with the GR. He was a natural cow dog. A month after he came to live with us the GR needed to move cows from Ken Keibel's place to the pasture at Mile Corner. There was no one around except for me and my shadow to help him. "If you must bring him, make sure he stays in the side-by-side. I cannot have him spooking these cows."

The first hundred yards proceeded according to plan. And then a cow took exception to being herded.

Before you could yell, "Get out of the ditch!" little Scouty had leapt over the hood and planted himself firmly in front of the cow, locking his eyes with hers.

The standoff lasted perhaps 45 seconds before that grand old lady, mustering as much dignity as she could, turned around and rejoined her companions.

The dog was not even one year old, but he had discovered his raison d'être. It would be like hearing the opening bars of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony (yes, the da-da-da-DUM one) and knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were born to conduct an orchestra.

There was no turning back. From then on it was a given that when cows were being moved, Scout was at work.

People had told me about highly intelligent dogs; my experience was Musket down to Gunny — all five of them lovable and loyal and a couple of them a bit doltish, if the truth be told.

But then Scout arrived. He could understand almost everything that was said and certainly all that was going on. There was one time when the GR was bringing cows up the side road onto the 855. He was on horseback and a friend was on a quad. I came to guard the intersection, and found Scouty totally rattled by the quad. The GR was too. "Keep your dog in your side-by-side, and you and the quad stay out of the way!"

The cows had been rattled as well, their normal rhythm hopelessly disrupted. The three of us sat there helplessly, watching the GR and his horse work in vain to get them back into some order.

It was more than Scout could bear. He hopped out and paused, listening to my shrieks that he better get back in Right Now.

He turned toward me, locked eyes with me, dipped his head apologetically, and then ducked under the fence. He gave the cows a wide berth as he ran through the adjacent field in the opposite direction to which they were supposed to be going. He got back to the last one; and in less than five minutes everyone was under control and moving smoothly up the road. When he got up to the side-by-side he hopped in and lay on the floor at my feet, his usual spot, no big deal.

The GR was all smiles. "Where's my great dog?" he asked. I swear Scouty winked at me ...

Scout's life from day one has been about work. The purpose-driven life. If it's not a cattle-moving day, there's always something to do. It might be guarding miniature kittens along with his co-sentry Gunpowder ...

or performing quality control on the calves' milk replacer ... 

or checking the field in hopes of discovering the start of tender green shoots emerging ... 

or chaperoning. 

If there was nothing else going on, he'd be happy to challenge you to a ball game ... 

... regardless of who "you" are, and regardless of the weather! 

A new little game has emerged in the past few months: when I arrive home, the dogs accompany my truck from somewhere between the middle and home cattle gates to the house. 

But not Scout. Scout sits near where I will park, perfectly still, stick in position in front of the driver's door, waiting for me to disembark from the truck. Our eyes lock. 

"Hi, Love," I will always say, and pick up and throw the stick. Then I greet all the others.

The first time this happened, a couple of the others converged upon him, pinning him to the ground. The second time I said, "Oh ScoutyLove, they're going to come for you — you'd better go round to the front door and wait for me there." 

He went and collected the stick I had thrown and trotted off. Once I had greeted all the dogs and unloaded the truck and gone inside I glanced out of the front door. There he was, in the position. On the step was his stick. 

He can speak with just his eyes. The strong, silent type. If I couldn't find his ball, or the precise stick he was using at that particular moment, or if I wanted to know the whereabouts of the GR, I would just ask him. Then I would watch his eyes. He would first look at me and, without moving his head, then look in the direction of the object. If I couldn't locate the item in question, he would remain where he was, looking at me and looking in the direction. Sometimes I would get frustrated. He wouldn't change. He waits me out. I always find it. 

He has been right 100 per cent of the time. 

He has taught me to listen. 

He has taught me patience. 

He has taught me to love as much as I can, even those who would act unkindly toward me on occasion. 

He has taught me the value of loyalty. Of perseverence. Of playing the long game. 

He has taught me that while he is here, I am not alone. He will not leave me. 

The love of God conveyed by Dog. 

Halfway through June when the temperature in the house was 28° and the thermometer outside registered 39 and the blistering wind taunted us unceasingly, the dogs with their thick coats could bear it even less than I. Tempers frayed. 

It must have been the temperature, the oppressive waves layering onto their overheated bodies and brains. Two of the five started to gang up on Scout. Where he was, there they would go. Standing over him, threatening him, shoving him. Bullies on the playground. 

He never retaliated. He would lie there quietly, waiting for them to be done. He knew that if I was there I would call them off; if I was not, he could wait them out. And then he would carry on about his business — no hard feelings. All he knew is that he loved his brothers and sisters. The rest was up to them. 

Last Thursday I was in Brooks when I got the call. A friend had stopped for a visit. He had thrown a Scouty stick many times as he and the GR talked.

As he left, before he even reached the first cattle gate, the two dogs who had been acting up cornered my ScoutyLove and drove him toward the truck. It was going at only about 1 km / hour; but the way he struck it must have done damage to his heart. He cried out once. The GR, inside the house, recognised that cry and came running out. 

Scout stepped back and lurched toward the middle of the lawn. 

Our friend had felt the thud and immediately stopped and leapt out. He ran toward my ScoutyLove and held him as he took his last breath. 

It was all over in less than a minute. 

A day and a half later we buried him on top of the hill, our kind neighbour giving up his relaxed camping Saturday morning and making a special trip to dig his grave. 

It's a beautiful spot, overlooking the horse pasture, the corrals and the house and yard. 

I collected some of his sticks — sticks of all shapes and sizes, used for particular games — and placed them with him, along with the toy that had been sent with him when he first arrived at our house.

Our neighbour waited while the GR said his last goodbye and we went back down the hill; only then did he fill in the grave. He volunteered to fill it in by hand. I replied, "He's a dog; it's fine to use the backhoe. And thank you for even offering."

We checked later, and he had carefully made a mound of earth covered by grass on the top. 

I couldn't say anything of importance out loud that morning on that hill. We rarely talked with words. And I couldn't see his eyes. 

I will never see his eyes.

But  I think he knew. I think he knew that he was my best friend on the ranch. That we could talk about anything. That I loved him with my whole heart. 

Bye, Love. 

But Scouty, it's still sleep time! 

A New Day

How do you celebrate Father's Day when you've been unchilded?

When your own father and both your fathers-in-law are deceased?

There's still one father you can turn to, and that's what the Good Rancher did.

He cast himself into the care of his heavenly father, asking Him to show His love to him on this yet another sad day.

And he was not left unfathered.

The rain sputtered and spattered indecisively throughout the day; nonetheless, the gauge Sunday morning showed 9/10ths of an inch ... 

And by the evening it had quietly crept up to 1.4". 

(I have learnt that tenths matter.) 

He went to check the calf who should have died after having been attacked a couple of weeks ago by what the GR assumes was a coyote: he is recovering slowly but steadily each day, and this Father's day he seemed to have taken a giant leap forward. 

To push his heart to capacity, a beautiful foal was presented to him by Chopper, a horse others had written off as too small and not horse enough. 

Trooper is one of the most spectacular little colts in recent memory. His legs are long - almost as long as his mummy's - and yardstick  straight. He is silky to the touch, like all newborn babies are. His temperament is calm. He loves his mother, who reciprocates one hundredfold.

After church we went out to lunch with a couple of couples, both of whose kids were not close by. The three men talked of ranching and the fathers from the Bible Pastor Walter had mentioned in his Father's Day Quiz just before the sermon. Some of them had had quite a time of it!

After the Church @ Endiang service that evening we had an ice cream social: floats, banana splits, sundaes, waffle cones. Coffee and chatting. Celebrating Dads. 

It's not always easy being a dad these days, Pastor Allan had commented. And yet kids of all ages need good dads more than ever. 

So to the GR and to all those men out there who are dads or who are about to become dads, don't be discouraged; don't lose heart. Your job is to love your kids and trust God for the rest. Keep letting your light shine... 

And happy Father's Day! 

It's Raining, It's Pouring!

I spent Wednesday away from the ranch; when I left, the sky was overcast but there was not so much as a spatter of raindrops.

I checked in by phone periodically. Any rain?

No. 

What about now?

No. 

And then at 11:34 I received this picture from DJ, along with the words "Finally getting some rain!"

As my friend and I went about our tasks in Calgary we were almost blown over by some of the wind gusts. We heard of the tornado warnings and thought about the Good Rancher, who was making his way back from Lethbridge.

Finally, at about 8 pm, I was home. The first thing I did was check the rain gauge:

Half an inch! 

I was so excited. The air smelled clean. As I hauled groceries into the house the three cats clawed at the door, wanting to get into the brisk outdoors. Olivia decided that discretion was the better part of valour in this unknown weather pattern. 

Jack and Charlie, however, swooped out and hurtled around the corner, to be brought up short by the overflowing rainwater tank - I must confess that I was brought up short by it too. How does a mere half an inch fill a bone-dry water trough like that?!

When the excitement subsided, we all went back indoors. The GR joined us shortly thereafter; as he started to eat his belated dinner, he heard the first pattering on the roof.  Food was forgotten as he jumped up and peered out of the window.

That half inch earlier was merely a teaser. The rain had arrived in earnest now!

All through that evening and into the night it tapped out its persistent percussion on the tin roof drum above our heads.

I was getting ready to settle The Nine in for the night, and I didn't see the GR at one of his regular evening dozing spots in the living room. But as I went down the hall the light showed me a glimpse of that man lying relaxed for the first time in many months.

"I'm just listening to the beautiful music," he murmured.

I thought about the time I took him to a performance of Handel's Messiah by the Calgary Philharmonic Orchestra and Chorus. I never sensed in him the depth of awe and joy I experience when I hear the magnificent old masterpiece. 

But this night, I finally got it. 

This was the GR's Hallelujah Chorus.

Finally the household occupants were all tucked in for the night. I filled the electric kettle and flicked on the switch. As the water started to shift and heat in preparation for my hot water bottle, I was propelled toward the front door. Opening it, I stepped onto the top step and felt the immediate impact of water and wind.

And in it I heard the still, small voice, a whisper, a caress in my ear:

This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. (Matthew 5:45, the Message) 

I stayed there for long moments trying to take it all in - the wind weaving through the rain, the scorched grass tentatively stretching its blades upward again, the certain knowledge that God loves us all.

And finally, I could breathe. 

Listen to the rain with me! 

I went inside to enjoy the deepest sleep I have had in a long time.

But the next morning I was awakened by a shout: "Check out the rain gauge!"

(This includes the half inch from the previous day's afternoon showers.) 

The wonder of it all!

A Cloud the Size of a Man's Hand

 It's past time to get to bed. 

Now I lay me down to sleep - I pray the Lord my soul to keep...

This evening I was watering the scant flowers I had bothered to plant in the Round-up Corral, some of them so scorched by another brutally hot day that as the spray from the watering can touched their petals they spat at me like water hitting a hot frying pan.

As I lugged watering can after watering can around this beautiful, desolate place, I couldn't stop thinking about Elijah. Elijah was the prophet of the Lord who took on the most evil of the kings of Israel to date, Ahab: the Old Testament book of 1 Kings chapter 16, verse 33 actually says, "... Ahab did more to provoke the Lord God of Israel to anger than all the Kings of Israel who were before him." In desperation for his nation to turn back to God, Elijah had declared that there would be no rain until he gave the word.

And now it had been three years.

All of that backstory to get to the part I was pondering, the part where God gave the word to Elijah that it was going to rain.

After some other pretty dramatic moments, recorded in chapter 18, Elijah sent his servant to study the sky and see if there was any cloud in it.

No. 

Check again. 

No. 

Check again. 

No. 

Again. 

No. 

On the seventh trip outside, the assistant reported that he saw a small cloud the size of a man's hand in the sky.

That was enough for Elijah! He sent his servant to tell the King to hasten home or he would be caught in the deluge that was about to hit.

And it was so. 

Dear Lord, tonight we have clouds in the sky over the Round-up Corral - angry, roiling clouds reluctant to release their contents, ready to punch anyone who dares challenge their authority.

Clouds bigger than a man's hand. 

The wind is throwing small objects up into the air in a blustering show of false bravado. 

The miniature pond in Jane's Nook has a waterfall that is clattering onto the rocks below, and the beautiful old stained glass window above it trembles slightly between its sturdy chain supports. The Good Rancher does his best to secure it. 

We have had 2/10ths of an inch so far this year. We have been hauling water for a month already. The livestock is hot and thirsty, looking for reprieve from this relentless heat. 

The forecast holds out hope for tomorrow; but it's been teasing us like a shiny object jerked repeatedly out of our grasp so many times in the past 30 days.

The GR waits and so I must go. 

If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord that He will make the clouds to shed a tear ...

Amen.

Remembrance Day

Today the Hanna Lodge hymn sing was canceled. It was a stat, I was told. No activities were scheduled. 

I attended no service. Driving by myself to Hanna last night in the cold and the dark and the unknown had wrung me out.

At exactly 11:00 a.m. this morning I stood at attention for two minutes, a silence broken only by the stertorous breathing of Gunpowder, the dog born with misaligned hips, who dozed at peace on the sofa.

And I thought about Maynard, as I often do on this day. His birthday is November 16; I remember him on the 11th, and I think of those who never quite made it to serve their country.

Maynard went to high school with me. We became friends in standard 8, and he was unfailingly kind to me. I was short, stout and self-righteous. I earned some nicknames. Maynard never called me them. He called me Tinhead, a play on Ironside. He chose "head", he said, because my head was smart and pretty and could hear the music. He told me to listen just to the music.

As happens when you go to boarding school in another country, we graduated and went our separate ways. I enrolled in university; he enrolled in his Uncle S's navy.

It wasn't a good match for him. He was a TCK - a Third Culture Kid - a strong, gentle, young man who was somewhat adrift and was looking for a place to call home, for people to call family.

The navy proved not to be that place.

And one day he just showed up at my university.

I was attending a spiritually and socially conservative university, and this was in the early '80s. Visits from friends of the opposite sex had to be pre-arranged and approved in writing by parents. My parents and his parents were in India.

With trepidation we approached the Dean of Women. We explained the circumstances to her, and she kindly gave Maynard a permission slip for meals and a place to stay in the men's dorm for five days. He attended classes with me, lunches and dinners, and he walked me back to my dorm in the evenings. We got caught up on the two-plus years we had not seen each other since graduation. He told me how tough the navy was for him, how he had made a mistake, how he was afraid to go back.

On the fourth evening we attended a basketball game, and the team I was cheering for won. In his exuberance, he flung his arms around me and hugged me.

Hugged me at a no-physical-contact-between-men-and-women university, in front of everyone I knew there.

We were summoned by the Dean of Women that very night.

I was given a stern lecture and put on social probation. No talking to boys for a month.

Then she turned to Maynard. She asked him more about his leave of absence from the navy; to my shock, he confessed that he had gone AWOL. He told her something of his childhood, of his experience as a frightened cadet. Something had snapped in his brain and the only thought he had was if he could reach a friend, maybe he would be able to get his bearings again.

The Dean of Women was silent for a long time. When she spoke, her voice was husky. "Young man, this school takes loyalty to our military very seriously. Your duty is to report back to your base and to bear your punishment like a man. You will need to leave here now. May God give you strength."

He threw his arms around me again and we clung together for a moment while she gazed at a painting on the wall.

And then he was gone into the night and I crept back to my room. Everyone was silent; but Michelle squeezed my hand.

I heard from him a few years later. He had indeed returned. He had been courtmartialled and thrown in the brig. What happened there was so awful for him that he spoke of it to me only once. And then he was dishonourably discharged.

He had spent time as a day labourer, picking up odd jobs. He had spent time on the streets. His arsenal of alcohol and drugs helped combat the pain. 

And so his story went. A couple of marriages, a pretty little kid. She had his eyes. 

Jail time.

Rehab.

Still searching to belong.

He checked in with me every so often. 

We saw each other for an afternoon in the late '80s when a friend and I were driving me back to Canada from the States. And he came to visit me once for a fortnight in Calgary in the mid '90s in the bleak midwinter. 

In 2005 I got the email from his brother. He had been found in a cheap motel room, the kind you pay for by the day. Apparent overdose.

Two days earlier he had called me and said he had completed the latest stint at rehab and had saved some money and was wondering if he could get on a Greyhound to Alberta for a visit. He was desperate to see a friend from a time when life was easier. 

I demurred. Things were tough right now. It wasn't a good time. Besides, he should go see his family, his little girl, his pregnant wife. They needed him. Maybe another time? 

"Maybe another time," he echoed, and his voice caught in his throat. 

"Always your friend, Tinhead."

https://youtu.be/tsX7Gv1GhTc